Common Threads #07
Thoughts on the desire for friendship written on the heart.
Hi Friends,
This week I’ve enjoyed time with two of my three sisters while one visits from Utah; our other sister was very much missed.
It’s been so good to just spend time with them. I’ve really enjoyed their company, especially when we’ve had time to ourselves, just to hang, drink wine, and laugh with one another.
My sister said something about nail clippers that made me almost spit out my wine. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.
All this time visiting has had me thinking about friendship. With my sisters, friendship comes so naturally. It’s a blessing to be able to be apart for so long, then get together with no need for rekindling whatsoever. That kind of love and friendship is one that is always burning—my sisters are the ones who know and love me in the deepest way possible, as I know and love them.
That kind of sturdy love I have with my sisters is similar to what I find in the closest friends God has brought into my life. The closest people to me are those who fit what Sirach 6 describes as a “shelter”—they are the feeling I have of home.
I’m so grateful for those kinds of friendships. God is so good for providing them.
Yet, I know building friendship doesn’t always feel so effortless. Even with sisters and good friends, I long for more. I live far apart from two of my sisters and most of my closest friends don’t live close to me. I’d love to form some new friendships with people in my parish or neighborhood. Easy, in-the-flesh friendships where I can just get together for a quick chat or park date—even if it means fitting conversation in between the needs of all of our kids.
It’s been on my heart to pray for friends like that, but for some reason have been hesitant. I think I feel a bit selfish. My closest friend is my husband. I see him every day—I am beyond blessed by his friendship, as well as all the others I mentioned.
Since the desire for friendship is written on the heart, I’m thinking maybe I should just start praying about it.
The more the merrier, right?
How God Meets Us in Friendship
This morning, I was surprised to find that my reading and meditation for today was devoted to friendship.
Seriously.
The whole thing!
I had to pause, almost laughing at God’s timing. All week I’ve been reflecting on friendship and thinking about writing on how to cultivate it, be a good friend, and make friends—and here God was speaking right to my heart.
This wasn’t just confirmation for me that the Lord wanted me to talk about this, but a reminder that he is the True Friend who knows the inner workings of our hearts. He hears our prayers and when we speak to him, he responds generously.
In Scripture, he tells us:
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you…I have called you friends, for all that I have learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15: 9, 15)
Can we pause in gratitude that the God of the Universe calls us his friend? That he loves us?
The magnitude of this reality should floor us.
Jesus is the truest friend, and he teaches us what it means to have and receive friends.
He does this out of his desire for us to have friends and be a good friend. Friendship and charity are one and the same thing. Saint Jose Maria Escriva says that “They are a divine light which spreads warmth.”
He is the friend who laid down his life for us. We can always trust in him as our closest friend.
Through the intimacy we come to have with him in prayer, he expands our capacity and ability to make friends, and we should always look to him to understand what it means to be a good friend to others.
I want to keep learning from him what it means to be a good friend, and to receive friendship from others. I think this is a lifetime journey, and I’m up for walking it with him.
A Longing for Friendship
If you long for friends, I encourage you today to ask God for it.
A prayer for a good friend is a prayer I believe God always answers. He has never left me hanging; the friends I have prayed for have often become my closest and most treasured friends.
In Sirach 6 we’re told that “faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth.”
God wants us to have faithful friends.
Go before the Lord and pray for one if you are in need.
He will provide.
The Saints and Friendship
This weekend, two beautiful young men will be canonized: Carlo Acutis and Pier Giorgio Frassati. Both men are remembered for their deep, faithful friendships. (It’s amazing to me that we are blessed with two modern saints!)
Carlo Acutis is remembered fondly by his friends. His great love for the Eucharist drew both friends and strangers closer to the Lord.
Through his prayer, actions, and time with others, he showed deep love for friends, family, and those in need.
Through his friendships, Carlo left a legacy through his friendships, showing what it meant to be a kingdom-minded friend.
You can hear what his friends and family speak about him HERE! (It’s amazing to think that we are so close in time to this great young saint!)
Similarly, Pier Giorgio fostered deep friendships, all rooted in his friendship with the Lord. He would visit him regularly in Eucharistic adoration and he urged his friends to do the same.
He led his friends to the Good Friend, Jesus, often reminding them that true happiness doesn’t consist in the things of this world, but in the heavenly reality—in God’s love for us, especially in the Eucharist:
“And when you become totally consumed by this Eucharistic Fire, then you will be able to thank with greater awareness the Lord God who has called you to be part of His flock and you will enjoy that peace which those who are happy according to the world have never tasted.
Because true happiness, young people, does not consist in the pleasures of the world and in earthly things, but in peace of conscience which we can have only if we are pure in heart and in mind.”
Pier Giorgio treasured his friends and prayed for them fervently. He often spoke fondly of them and shared his affections for them.
He said that:
“When we find ourselves in the presence of such beautiful souls, surely nourished by Faith, we cannot but discover in them an obvious sign of the Existence of God, because one cannot have such a Goodness without the Grace of God.”
It’s beautiful to see how our friendships can reveal God’s love and point us heavenward.
Praise God for that!
We not only learn from the saints how to live a good, holy, and virtuous life (like how to be a better friend!), we can be friends with them! This is a gift that is often forgotten.
The saints are in heaven, experiencing friendship and love to its deepest extent in the beatific vision.
In heaven, they continue the work God calls them to do: championing us onwards towards our heavenly home!
What better friends to have than these!
While you are praying for a friend and for your friends, consider getting to know one of these great saints better. Their friendship will bless your life!
And…in honor of their canonization day…intentionally CELEBRATE this weekend!
Call a friend.
Write them a letter.
Do something out of love for them.
And remember, above all, Jesus’ words to you:
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you…I have called you friends, for all that I have learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15: 9, 15)
Your Friend in Christ,
P.S. If you enjoyed this reflection on friendship, you might also like my last article on the importance of building friendship in evangelization. You can find that HERE.
Such a beautiful reflection, Lauren. It reminds me of Proverbs 17:17—‘A friend loves at all times.’ The way you tied the gift of sisterhood to the greater reality of Christ as our truest friend is both timeless and deeply encouraging.